personal growth, Personal Growth

How Failures Help With Your Personal Development

Success isn’t easy even if watching other’s success might seem so. You might be disheartened when you have tried your best, but there is no sign of success. However, no one ever able to embrace success without experiencing failure at all. Every successful person failed once or twice and even more before becoming who they are today. Yet, no one wants to fail because as good as being successful feels; failure is uncomfortable and can break you as a person. Majority of us give up from the first failure that we experience without understanding the reality that this is an essential aspect of our personal development.

Many celebrities attributed their success to the failures experienced in the earlier stage of their career. Failure might seem like the end of the world, but it is not. Here are six reasons why it is crucial for our personal development.

It helps to re-evaluate what is important for you.

We have an idea of how success looks to us, and we work towards it. This ideology can result in anxiety; you might find yourself continuously question if you can accomplish all the goals you set for yourself. Sometimes, it can feel like the world’s end when you do not get what desired the most. It can cause unbearable heartbreak, and it will take some time to recover from it.

I experienced something similar; A couple of years ago, I worked in a company and reached the minimum two years required for a promotion; hence I was anticipating. The day came, and there was not a promotion for me. Was it devastating? Yes! Did it break my heart? Yes! It lasted for almost a week and took away any motivation left in me. However, a week later, it clicked. I was not even happy with this job and realized that not getting the promotion was a blessing in disguise. I left the job a year later and pursued a career in writing.

Failure can free you from a rat race that is not designated for you, which will allow you to focus on things that have fundamental importance. You will no longer need to spend your precious time, working hard on something that does not make you happy. You will also no longer feel anxious about it. Instead, you can use the same time to focus on new aim in your life that brings meaning and happiness to you.

It Makes You Not Afraid To Try.

Many do not pursue their dreams because they are afraid of failing. We are immobilized by the fear of failing that we no longer move forward as we do nothing at all. To escape a stagnant growth, you will need to move out of your shell and embrace what is meant for you. And to do this, you will need to be brave and overcome the fear of failing. Without trying, you will not identify what is suitable for you. While failing might seem scary, experiencing it at least once will allow you to understand how you deal with it.

Ever since I was in high school, I wanted to be a writer. I wrote a ten thousand words essay for an international writing competition; it took me two weeks to develop a good story, but I was afraid that I would not get into the initial stage. Because what are the odds that there are better writers than me from all around the world. I was afraid of hearing back again from them. I was scared of failing. And I regret that to date because I never got the opportunity to understand my ability when I could, as a fourteen-year-old girl. This experience taught me a huge lesson – challenges are here to make us better, and it is okay to fail. Over the last few years, I have written articles for many online magazines, and not all is a success. I experienced my fair share of failure, but I took a lot of feedback that helped in the next projects.

Overcome your fear, and be ready for the best opportunities that come your way, there are chances that you will excel. However, failing is not bad either because you will understand your ability once you have experienced failure. And because you have experienced it, you will no longer allow it to control your decisions. You will be more open to new challenges that will further your progress and eventually become successful.

You Build Resilience.

Failure is not the end but the beginning of the more challenging stage of our life. Difficult, yes, but if we seek the wisdom that comes with the setback, you will understand that everything happens for a reason. Failure is like the bitter medicine that we refuse to take but is healthy for us, as a person. One of the many things that I have learned from experiencing failures is I always come out with a higher level of resilience; often ready for new challenges.

Resilience is the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness. Resilience is not gifted to you; it needs to be practised and built upon experiences. Failures build resilience, and how do resilience are built from failure? The answer is simple – once you face a failure, you will look for the answer to why it happened. You will learn ways to deal with it better, which is the problem-solving skills that will be useful in future incidents. You will also speak to people you trust to share the failure and request advice, and this will equip you with the essential information that you can use, again, for future instances. Going about, trying and failing, you will no longer be afraid of failures.

Many of the most famous people failed multiple times before they are successful; Thomas Edison’s teachers said he was “too stupid to learn anything.” He was fired from his first two jobs for being “non-productive.” As an inventor, Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb. J.K. Rowling’s pitch for ‘Harry Potter’ was rejected 12 times before Bloomsbury accepted it. Guess what? It went on to become one of the most successful books and movie franchise in history. If Edison or Rowling gave up the first time they failed, we wouldn’t have experienced what they had invented. It only further proves that failure is not who we are but a behaviour we did. 

It Teaches The Is No Straight Way To Success.

School teaches you that the path to success is to study hard and pass all the exams that come your way. You repeat this process over and over again until you complete your studies. You will also need to undergo a specific test to get into the next phase in some job interview. The only thing that we understand that, if you are ready, you will be successful in your attempt. However, that is not how the real world works. You cannot predict success, although you can plan what the actions required in the road to success are. No formula has been created for you to follow and be successful without failing at all.

Life is indeed the best teacher, but life doesn’t provide you with rules like those you had in school. Of course, there will be “tests”, but there is no manual that comes with it. There are no textbooks, or past year questions to prepare you for this. And the only way for you to learn is to fail. You will keep failing until you figure out what you have been doing wrong, and to keep trying requires an enormous amount of dedication, determination and persistence. The best part, it will not decide the value of who you are as a person.

It Will Make You Realize That Everything Is Temporary.

Any aspiring individual’s path is a long-term prospect, most often ending abruptly with no rewarding outcome. However, we often forget that everything that we experience is temporary. If you are successful, there is no reason that you will not experience failure along the way. This same concept also applied to failure. All the failures that you have experienced will not be permanent.

Once you have experienced failure, you can choose how you want to react to it. You can decide to try again or move on with different plans. Soon after that, as you are current work plan, the feeling that you had when you failed at the previous attempt, will vanish into thin air. Failure will not be the end of your journey; it is just another temporary roadblock towards success.

It Will Let You To Let Go Of The Past.

In the beginning, the feeling of failure can linger within you like a heaviness. Even when you try to ignore it, you are not able to do so. Dread starts seeping in, and discouragement starts filling in any space left. You will soon find yourself feeling overwhelmed by sadness, and you no longer have the motivation to move forward. Failure is indeed terribly painful on so many levels. These negative emotions are essential for you to overcome the disappointment that you have experienced. Still, sooner or later, you are required to confront and let go of the whole situation.

As you live and experience things, you will eventually learn what you can cherish in your life or let go of it to move forward with other plans. You will understand what works for you or what does not. You will learn to let things that do not fit in your life, not because of your arrogance or pride but simply because not everything is supposed to be in your life.

You will learn to let go of what happened yesterday and not become obsessively focus on the future, but you will pay more attention to the present time.

Afterthoughts.

I hope you found value in the six reasons that I have shared above. I have shared them with you because I was once a person who was extremely afraid of failing. I missed a lot of opportunities because I was afraid of the negative feedbacks; I have always been the person that sat at the back seat, and enjoy the safe ride rather driving to my destination. That changed once I started accepting it is okay to experience failure.

Either way, we are all in this together. I am far from perfect, just like you. I am still learning every single day, just like you. I still fail, every now and then but this is normal. We all have to go through this some point in our life hence we are all in this together.

Your turn..

Are you afraid of failing? How do you overcome your failures? What are the failures that shaped your mind?

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